The Attitude Problem

‘I AM,’ said the man to the universe. ‘I KNOW,’ the universe replied. ‘But, this fact, does not put me under any obligation.’”

We humans are born with our human traits already in place (e.g., curiosity, desire to associate, and deal with other fellow humans, while at the same time, tending to be selfish and calculating),among many others which complete our human nature.Some of our traits that we are born with are unfinished and hopefully completed by early childhood experiences and family life. A particular one Is the trait of the perception of oneself in relation to the world and in particular to the community, and the give and take between himself and his surroundings. It makes up ones the Attitude component of ones personality .

Each one of us are born with a developing feeling of being like Nero (i.e., the unruly, arrogant, notorious emperor of Rome). We too, tend to feel naturally entitled, special, and expectant of special treatment by life and society in general. This attitude, natural to all of us, need to be brought down to earth to a reasonable perception of one’s give and take of life and fellow humans and to develop a feeling of humility and constrained moderation, of give and take of cooperation and mutuality with other similar fellow humans. Being aware that while every one of us is unique in his inborn, personality configuration, nevertheless, none of us is special.

Structure, structure, structure,” is the most important component that should be employed by the parents in raising their child. The sooner the growing child is pushed out, as it were, from the “Nero’s pedestal,” the better, so she/he can develop a sense of eagerness to participate in society, to contribute and be contributed with his fellow humans, endure and tolerate frustrations, and appreciate his fellow humans in their similar efforts. If this crucial phase of a child’s development is neglected and fails, the child grows up with a nasty attitude problem. She or he feel that the world around them fails to treat them as a special creature among the ordinary, fellow humans. She or he feels perpetually frustrated, grouchy, unpleasant, with a feeling of being victimized in a perpetual open complain that life around them does not treat them right. Many drink alcohol, lose jobs and are perpetually irritated and unpleasant. Parents fall easily into a trap of confusing permissive attitude as a sign of love, while in fact, they don’t do a favor to their growing child whom ends up being ill-prepared to create a reasonable life, profession and relationships. So I often counsel parents over and over again to their question about the subject to maintain structure, sameness, fairness, and consistency while love and affection are there anyway. So, next time your confronted with a difficult child of yours, don’t give in, keep up the rules, and expect the child to accommodate them. You will have done him a favor for the rest of his life.


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