In the face of it, it is a daunting task: two people of the opposite sex who have lived separate lives for the first two or three decades of their lives, meet and are attracted to each other. They had different upbringing, different experiences, different circumstances in growing up.
Now, they meet. They like each other, they profess love for each other, they hug and enjoy moments together regularly, and then they decide to be married, have children and be happy in their lives with each other.
Granted — as I pointed in a previous write up — mother nature gives them a head start, by making sure — most of the time anyway — they are complementary to each other in their temperament, and usually with similar background and beliefs, looks, education and sensual enthusiasm. But — a big But — they are unprepared to face the difficulties in front of them; such as, deadly routines, small daily irritations — which like barnacles in an oyster shell slowly grow up, sickness, overwork for both in view of current economic difficulties, attitude problems brought from both of their pasts, or possible distractions at work with an adventurous person eager for an affair with either of them. The works! No wonder the divorce rate is so high lately. The funny thing is that most people who remarry repeat the same mistakes, and they once more —you guessed it — divorce.
The two eager-to-marry people should know all this and be prepared to have fortitude, patience, kindness, and grace for each other, develop friendship and try a change in attitude-brought from the past. Remember this: it is not only about me, me, me. Altruism and grace help your partner. All the holy books of various faiths have similar things to say about that. If you do not believe it, go to “First Corinthians, Chapter 13.” It is all right there.
Life is not made for our convenience but can be a joyous adventure if you put your mind to it.
And, hug frequently, daily if possible — that’s what intimacy is made for. Remember, the children are not only a difficult task, but a joy to be cherished as you watch them grow up.
I myself tried to follow my own advice. My marriage lasted 49 years interrupted by death. And, the inevitable ups and downs included, it was a happy one.